Saturday, August 18, 2012

A Lesson Learned

Ok, it's confession time.  I am HUMAN!  And I make mistakes.  Alot.  And I learned a valuable lesson in friendship this week.  

It all started with a text to a friend that I hadn't talked in awhile.  I just wanted to check in and say Hi.  We chatted a bit and I mentioned maybe running a race that she and another friend were running.  And I didn't get a reply.  I started thinking that the reason why I didn't get a reply was because she didn't want me running the race with her.  That, my friends it where it all started plummeting downhill.  Then I started analyzing everything she did or how she acted.  And before I knew it I had come to the conclusion that she must be mad at me, or worse, she just didn't like me.  And to add fuel to the fire she was training with MY running buddy (like I own her or which means I didn't get to run with her as much (not that I could anyways with football practice going on and me being at home with the girls).  It started eating away at me.  Big Time.  

Yesterday I decided to put a stop to the insanity and find out if she was in fact upset with me.  I called her and flat out asked if I had done something to upset her.  She said No.  And I thought to myself WHAT?  She of course asked why I thought that I told her of the text (which, by the way, sounded really stupid saying it out loud).  And get this...she didn't even remember the text!  She said she actually had been thinking she needed to text me or email or something, but she just hadn't gotten to it.  So what was becoming this big thing in my life was really nothing.  NOTHING.  Yet this false issue we had (or shall I say I had) was causing such turmoil in my life.  And could have potentially cost me her friendship.    

I've been thinking alot about it since that phone call.  How many fights get started and relationships get severed this very same way?  By reading too much (or not enough) into a comment, text, email, action, etc.  That little bit of anger, frustration, jealousy, or bitterness plants a seed in your heart and before you know it, the fire spreads inside you.  Sometimes it spreads so much that the person can't put it out.  Humility is a powerful thing.  By humbling myself enough to make the call, the fire was put out. Immediately.  I did it because I couldn't stand feeling that fire any longer and it was time to face the facts...which I found out really weren't facts at all.  God calls us to reconcile with those who we think have wronged us or those whom we have wronged.  Imagine how different our world would be if more people put that into practice in their lives?  It would be revolutionary.  

So the moral of the story is...value your friendships enough to be real and humble with your friends.  Yes, I tend to err on the side of telling my friends too much about me (and I love ya for putting up with me, by the way!), but I want them to know that I value them enough to be authentic with them.  I'm not trying to be someone I'm not and I'm not trying to hold anything back from them.  And I expect the same from them.  That's what true friendship is.  So to my "bad" friend who didn't reply to my text (you know who you are!)...I love ya girl and I'm so glad we aren't "fighting" anymore!  :)      

No comments: