Monday, December 21, 2009

Week 4 Weigh In

I can't believe it's been a week since blogging! I guess the closer we get to the holidays, the crazier things get here at home! To give a recap on last week's progress, I was able to workout 4 times last week. I skipped Wednesday's workout in order to fulfill a request to snuggle with my son. I felt guilty about it, but realize that I still need to live my life in the midst of wanting to lose weight. All in all it was a good week eating wise...sometimes I was so busy that my empty tummy would serve as a reminder that I needed to eat! This morning I was pleasantly surprised to see the scale report 181.8! That means I've lost 3.2lbs in three weeks! When I started this journey, I set a mini-goal of losing 5 lbs by Jan 1st...and I think I might just meet that goal! I have 11 more days until the 1st and I am losing an average of 1 lb each week, so it will be close. One thing is for sure...I should definately meet that 5 lb goal by Jan 11th! And honestly, if I don't meet it until then, who cares! I will have lose 5 lbs and be on my way to a thinner and healthier me!

Monday, December 14, 2009

Week 3 Weigh In

I just weighed in and I'm not happy with the results. 183.2lbs. Another .4lbs gone, but I was hoping for more than 1.8lbs lost in two full weeks. I was actually a bit nervouse before stepping on that scale this morning. My weekend was full of inactivity and eating foods that were anything but healthy. It is very frustrating to workout 5 days during the week and then screw it up with calorie intake over the weekend!

On Friday night, hubby and I had a date night where we went to a local Restaurant. Neither of us had been there before and really didn't know what to expect. Well...let's just say they serve mostly deep-fried foods. After hubby declined my offer to split a meal, I ordered a mushroom swiss burger with BBQ sauce, lettuce and tomato. The menu said that my sandwich would come with "a butt-load of fries". And boy were they right. The serving plates themselves are more like a serving platter that you would use to serve a whole chicken on during Sunday dinner! The sandwich was 1/2 lb of beef, which was big enough and the rest of the plate was full of fries. Granted, you did get your money's worth. But I noticed that I was falling into the consumer trap. I got a good deal on my meal and I didn't want to let it go to waste! I only ate half of my burger and maybe 1/3 of my fries and was stuffed. We also ordered some mushrooms (deep-fried of course!) as an appetizer and I ate maybe a third of the basket full. Needless to say, I consumed a lot of calories in that one meal.

One thing I did notice is that I need to make more thorough choices. I made a decision to get the burger because I knew the deep-fried fish sandwich would be too many calories, which was good, but I didn't explore any healthier options. After we ordered, a couple in the booth across from us received their SALADs! Then the light bulb in my head went on: YOU SHOULD HAVE ORDERED A SALAD! But, I don't remember seeing any salads on the menu...but I wasn't looking for them either. I automatically started searching from the sandwich menu and the rest is history.

I think this week I will try to workout 6 days a week instead of just 5. That extra workout will help if I do have a calorie filled weekend. I would also like to find a good weight loss story to read. I am so inspired by reading about people's weight loss journeys and I think it will help to keep me motivated. I am also going to try to be more serious about not eating flours and sugars and incorporating more fruits and veggies.

I have to admit, I REALLY do not want to get on that treadmill today! After two days off from working out, my motivation is gone. BUT...I will work out. My body has won this battle long enough and it's not going to continue to win!

Friday, December 11, 2009

Skinny On The Inside

Well, week 2 is almost up and I want to give up. Not because I no longer want to lose weight or be healthy. Just becuase it is WORK! It is work trying to fit in a workout each day, work trying to make that workout intense enough, work trying prepare meals that are healthy, work analyzing every single morsel that goes into my mouth. It is so much easier to just eat whatever I want and not have to worry about getting in a workout! Now, don't worry. I am NOT giving up. I'm just saying that I want to! And quite honestly, I'm thinking this is about the point when I normally do give up. This is where I feel as if I've been working my tail of but see no results. This is where I become impatient. I don't see results (besides my measly little 1.4 lbs on the scale) and the perfectionist in me wants to think, "I'll never see results, so why try?" My all -or-nothing approach to weight loss as been my demise. I have really had to change my mindset these past 12 days and become quite flexible. I may not always be able to work out when I want to each day, or eat want I want to, but my flexibility has helped me to be successful in reaching my goal of working out at least 5 days each week. I am wiping my Excuse Book clean and that is helping me to remain consistent!

Today I pulled out a few pairs of pants that I know are too small, but I wanted a tangible way to chart my progress. All three pants were tight. My plan is to get these pants out each month and try them on again to see if they are looser or fit better. One of these days I know I'll be able to wear them with pride! I am finding that I feel skinny on the inside. My mind thinks I'm skinnier than my body actually is. And that is where alot of my conflicting feelings about this weight loss journey starts. I need to have a realistic assessment of what my body looks like in order to chart my progress realistically. I can't keep constantly looking for clues that I'm losing weight only to be let down because it's too soon. I need to train myself to not look for progress for at least another 4 weeks. If I keep looking for progress and don't find it, then I'm more likely to lose hope and give up. So I will wait until January 11th to begin to look for progress! I will still weigh in weekly, but I will not look for changes in my body until the 11th!

I have to admit that I am a bit worried about the upcoming holiday season. I love sweets and Christmas time is when all those yummy sweets cross paths with me...and I indulge. I do not want these goodies to undo all of my hard work! I need to take my time when filling my plate at each of the holiday meals (with 2 sets of divorced parents, there are lots of meals during Christmas!). I need to assess what is available and then make intelligent decisions as to what I can eat that will line up with my goals of losing weight. But so many times, there is no thought process at meals. I fill up my plate with everything I want and I eat it. Then afterwards, I reflect on what I've eaten and I am appalled at my lack of self-deiscipline. I want to reverse that process for good!

Wednesday, December 9, 2009

I LOVE the Biggest Loser!

I just can't tell you how much I love The Biggest Loser! I think it is safe to say that I am addicted to it. I think there are so many shows on tv that are just trash, but The BL is one that truly is interested in changing people's lives. I have watched all 8 seasons and with each one, I am more amazed at the results the contestant's have received by the Finale. I think this season has been the biggest shocker of all. Granted, these people are working their tails off 4-6 hrs a day and are on very strict diets, but it is amazing to watch these people turns their lives around. The tranformation doesn't just happen on the outside, but also the inside. They are learning to love themselves again and realize that they are worth the hard work. What better gift can you gift yourself than the gift of health? Aside from salvation (which is Jesus's gift to us), I don't believe there is anything better. I say that because I am at that point. I'm tired of feeling run down and defeated all the time. I want to be truly happy...not just wear a smile around all day letting people believe I'm happy. I want to live an exciting and active life with my hubby and kids. As a mom, it's so easy to give of yourself...both time and energy...to everyone else until there's nothing left to give. I got burned out. I would feel guilty if I locked myself in my room just so I could get a workout in because my kids needed me or the laundry needed done. Not any more! I realize that by taking that time for myself, even being selfish about it, everyone will benefit. Because I have given to myself, my energy will be increased to play more with my kids, my mood will improve because I feel better about myself, and because I will have increased self-confidence, I will be a better wife and mother. I'm tired of living as if I am never good enough and letting my lack of self-confidence influence every decision I make. But all of that is changing!

Since I've started exercing the past 9 days, something is changing inside of me. I am starting to see the potential that I possess that I never knew was there. The potential to believe in myself. The potential to achieve my goal of weight loss and not let anything stand in my way. And I have come to realize that my biggest obstacle is myself. I am so determined to see this goal through that I am constantly trying to overcome myself. I know it sounds weird, but it is so true. You know yourself better than anyone else knows you.

I'll give you an example. Yesterday was a busy day. I spent it running Kailyn to the doctor's office, then to StuffMart to pick up some groceries and her prescription, as well as a few other errands before returning home. I slept in yesterday morning, which didn't give me enough time to get in a workout before leaving for the doc's. And by the time I got home, it was 4pm and I was tired. And then there's the issue of dinner...that had been overlooked in the midst of the chaotic day. So as I'm trying to put away my groceries and start on dinner, a talked to a friend, who is also my accountibility partner in this weight loss journey. And what does she ask me? Yep, you guessed it. "Have your worked out today?" I explained my day to her and promised to workout before going to bed. As the evening progressed, my motivation to workout lessened. But I knew myself. I knew that if I skipped my workout yesterday, that would be the start of chronically skipped workouts and eventually me giving up. So I overcame myself and worked out. I planned to just do 30 mins on the treadmill, but then decided to do 15 mins more, but then decided to just do 60 mins instead. But as the 60 min mark drew nearer, I saw that I had walked/jogged just under 4 miles. So...I persevered 4 mins longer (most of which was jogging) in order to see my treadmill report that I had gone 4 miles! I was tired and sweaty, but felt so accomplished by what I had achieved! I don't think I've ever been on the treadmill for an hour in the 5 or so years I've had it! And 5 yrs ago I certainly could never have jogged (nor would I have wanted to) as much as I did last night! Even though I'm not seeing huge progress on the scales or in the way my clothes fit yet, I do see progress in my strength and endurance.

And here's the best part...I got on the scale today and it said 180.8lbs! That's 4.2lbs lost! Of course the loss will not be official until next Monday's weigh in, but still...I am getting results!

Tuesday, December 8, 2009

Week 2 Road block and it's only Tuesday!

Well...I've encountered my first road block this week. Kailyn came home from school with an earache that last through the night. So in the wee hours of the morning after administering yet more meds to her, I decided that today's original plan wasn't going to work. I also learned that when I'm stressed, I tend to consume lots of calories. The victim were three mini candybars in the middle of the night...GRRR!!!! Because of the lack of sleep last night and the fact that she would not need to catch the bus, I decided to sleep in. I called the doc and she has an appt for 11:30 today. So that means I will need to get my shower, my shopping list made (so I can do my grocery shopping today while I'm in town) and my workout with have to wait until I get home. I am trying not to feel a bit defeated. My fear is that I will skip today's workout and this will be the start of my loss of motivation. I can't let this happen! I've come to far to just give up again. So the plan will be to workout when I get home and maybe take a nice bubbly bath afterwards! Bubbly baths are like a treat to me and I HATE taking a shower in the morning and then getting all sweaty after working out and having to take another shower. But oh well...it will be done! No excuses here!

Since my cupboards are looking like Old Mother Hubbard's, I needed to get creative with breakfast. This morning I did a quick search for whole wheat waffles (we haven't stocked white flour for over a month now!) and found one that was simple and included ingredients that I have on hand. They actually turned out pretty yummy. I have to laugh as I type this because I just reminded myself that I am still making the waffles as we speak...and remembered that there was one still cooking from about 10 mins ago! Needless to say, that waffle is a total loss...although my hubby does like his crunchy...hehe. I found the recipe of a thrifty mom's blog and she included a few alterations by cutting down on the amount of milk and oil she uses by adding water and applesauce. I made them waffles using the alterations and they were quite yummy with some melted butter and warm syrup on them! I would like to pass the recipe onto you...enjoy!

Whole Wheat Waffles
1 3/4 c. whole wheat flour
2 T. sugar
1 T. baking powder
2 eggs
1 3/4 c. milk (or can use 1/2 milk and 1/2 water)
1/2 c. oil or melted butter (can use 1/2 oil and 1/2 applesauce)
1 tsp. vanilla
Mix dry ingredients in a large bowl. Mix wet ingredients in a separate bowl. Add the wet mixture to the dry mixture and stir until blended. Pour into greased waffle iron until done.
Makes approx 6 waffles


Despite the circumstances that arise today, it WILL be a GREAT day! Outlook is everything and mine is not going to get me down!

Monday, December 7, 2009

Hello Week 2!

I've made it to Week 2 and I am pumped to see progress soon! The fact that I worked out 6 days last week (plus a double workout on Friday) is progress enough for me right now! I was so sore last week from working out that I was a bit miserable. I guess I need to find the balance of working out hard, yet not so hard that I am so sore the following day. Last week I did a mixture of c25k workouts and various Biggest Loser workouts..both cardio and strength training. I think I can already start to see my calves toning up...and rightfully so after all that walking and jogging I did last week! lol

This morning I weighed in at 183.6, which means I have lost 1.4lbs. Not great, but not terrible either! I want this weight loss to be slow and steady so I can keep it off long term. I have to admit that I was hoping for a bigger loss, but after reflecting on the past week, my exercise was great, but my eating wasn't too good. There was lots of birthday cake and pizza, and more pumpkin roll slices than I care to share about. I am finding that I get so hungry for something sweet..and those sweets add up calorie-wise! Today I plan to pick up a pineapple because I notice that I actually crave that over cookies and cakes when it comes to something sweet to eat. I need to find some more alternatives to quench my sweet tooth too.

Now that I have been focusing on losing this weight and becoming healthier, I feel as if my eyes are being opened to what people are consuming and why obesity is such a problem in this country. Over the weekend, Kailyn and I went shopping and she requested that we eat at McDonald's for dinner. As we waited amongst the numerous other people to order and recieve our food, I listened to what people were ordering and it saddened me. I watched as a mom and her daughter ordered their meal. They both were what I would call overweight. The daughter, who looked to be maybe 12 or 13, ordered a Double Quarter Pounder meal! Granted, she only ordered the medium meal, but what McDonald's calls medium is actually extra large in my book. At such a young age, she has already started battling with obesity...what is her life going to be like as an adult? It's sad to me that the $1 menu entices us to eat foods that are nutritionally void, high calorie and high fat and we think it's a good deal. We can get a double cheeseburger for $1, and it's such a great deal...but we're still hungry and we've put nothing nutritious into our bodies in the process. When my daughter asked to eat there, I sort of cringed because I knew that mass calories were in my future. I didn't do too badly though. I ordered a Ranch Snack Wrap and a Fruit and Walnut salad and a water. I was full and I think the entire meal was around 400 calories. The only improvement I could have made would have been to order grilled chicken breast instead of the crispy. But I definately will do that next time I'm forced to eat there!

Today I really did not want to work out. I got up early, but used every excuse not to exercise. I ended up spending my exercise time in prayer and devotions, which isn't a bad thing. But I notice as the day goes on, I lose my motivation more and more to work out. But today I overcame myself and did it! I did my first c25k Week 2 workout and as always I feel great! It was a hard workout while I was doing it, but you just cannot replace the feeling of accomplishment and self-denial you get after a great workout! Tomorrow I plan to do a double workout since I will be traveling to Columbus on Wednesday to take my daughter to the dentist. We usually have to leave early and we are so rushed that I probably will not take the time to stop and exercise. But I'm planning ahead for it and will do double tomorrow so I will not experience the normal guilt after missing a workout.

I'm on my way and it feels great!

Thursday, December 3, 2009

Day 4 and going strong!

Thought it might be time to update you all on my progress! I have worked out hard for 30 mins the past three days! I have worked out in the past, but the intensity wasn't too high...I was just walking 30 mins on the treadmill to say that I worked out. But I'm realizing now that if I want to see results, then it's time to bump it up a notch (or three) on the intensity scale. I have decided that I am going to do the C25K workouts on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday each week and supplement with some other form of workout on Tuesday and Thursdays...and even the weekends if I choose to work out then. I tend to get bored easily with the same workout routines and give up, so I'd like to vary the workouts enough so that doesn't happen. I have a quite a few different workout dvds that I can use as well as some that I plan to reserve from the library to mix things up a bit!

I know some people believe it only weighing in once a week to chart progress, but I like to weigh in every few days just to assess how I'm doing. If I'm showing a gain, then I know to cut back on my eating more or to workout more. If I'm showing a loss, I know that what I'm doing is working and to keep it up! When I weighed in on Monday, I weighed 185lbs. This was a bit of shock to me, because just about 2 weeks ago, I was 179lbs. But Thanksgiving came along and with it, lots of food and being lazy! And those extra calories and lack of burning them really adds up quick! This morning I weighed in and the scale said 182.5lbs! Of course I don't put a ton of trust in the mid-week number on the scale, but it helps to know that my hard work is starting to pay off...and it's great motivation to keep at it!

My goal weight is around 135-140lbs, but I'm going to decide my ideal weight when I get there. If that ends up being 150lbs and I like the way I feel and how my body looks at that point, then I'll stop dieting and enjoy the new me! I do like to set mini-goals for the months to help keep me on track, so I'm setting a mini-goal of 5lbs to lose each month. If I lose more than that each month, GREAT! So as of Jan 1st, I would like to weigh 180lbs. If I continue to meet each month's mini-goal, that puts me achieving my goal weight of 135lbs by October 1st 2010. Sure, I would LOVE to lose it sooner than that, but I want this to be a lifestyle change and not a quick fix.

My main problem that I've noticed so far is with food. Granted, my son's birthday was Monday, so there have been lots of cake and junk foods available to me. Last night I did experience a small victory. We went to my MIL's house for a bday party for Evan. We had coccia house pizza, chips and dip, and then cupcakes and ice cream...complete with homemade hot fudge sauce! I had made up my mind early on yesterday that I would only eat 1 piece of pizza...and that's what I did! I decided I would rather have my calories in the form of a cupcake instead of pizza...and I made the right choice because that cupcake was divine! I also opted for a smaller portion of ice cream than the one handed to me by my MIL. It was a nice feeling to be in control of what I was consuming! I'm so used to just mindlessly eating whatever is presented to me. I think we will have one more bday party this weekend, but I'm planning to skip the cake and ice cream altogether! I really need to start cutting out the sugar in my diet. I have started using Splenda in some things, but it's just not the same as good ole' sugar! I also want to cut down on the breads I've been eating. I don't want to take an all or nothing approach to what I eat because that is just setting myself up for failure. I want to make small lifestyle changes that will add up big in the end. For me, self-control is the big issue for me. But I know I can overcome that too!

Now that I've gotten all of that off my chest, I need to go workout! Day 4, here I come! :)