Tuesday, June 5, 2012

My Own Worst Enemy by Janet Davis

My Own Worst Enemy, How To Stop Holding Yourself Back by Janet Davis helps we, as women, to embrace ourselves wholeheartedly.  We truly can be our own worst enemies in our lives and we often hold ourselves back from receiving God's best for our lives.  We sell ourselves short.  One example the author used in the book was of a woman searching the wanted ads in the newspaper hoping to find a job.  As she looked over the different job postings, she would talk herself out of every single one of them by telling herself she wasn't good enough, qualified enough, ______ enough.  But she truly was.  Why do we hold ourselves back?  We are afraid of failure.  We are afraid to get uncomfortable.  And in the process we miss out on success. 

This book is filled with real-life stories of women who had to come to the realization that she wasn't living to her full potential and was a victim of self-sabotage.  Some of the stories are from the author's own life.  Each chapter focuses on one story and a similar story from women of the Bible. 

I have mixed feelings about this book.  At first I loved it and couldn't put it down.  The introduction really hit home to me about how we need to shine as a child of God with the skills and abilities He has blessed us with.  Then the first chapter was so profound to me and made me realize that, in my own life, I have been holding myself back.  It was my "Aha!" moment that some people talk about.  I was so excited to keep reading!  And I even told my friends about how good it was!  Then as I kept reading, my opinion of the book changed.  I'm not really sure why, though.  Or maybe the first chapter was so life-changing for me that the other chapter just couldn't compare.  

Despite my opinion of the book, I think it is a good read for women.  We all sell ourselves short in one way or another and this book would be a great tool to help bring those areas to the surface through self-reflection.  

*I received a complimentary copy of this book from the publisher in exchange for this honest review. 

Monday, June 4, 2012

Day 1 Recap

Well, I'm not sure if today was a success or not.  It was one CRAZY day.  I woke up feeling icky.  Not sure why, but my lower back and lower abdomen were achy until after lunchtime.  I ate some Cream of Wheat with some apple butter stirred in and a scrambled egg-potato mixture leftover from camping.  After that I headed to a fruit farm to pick strawberries so I could make some jam.  I made some a couple of months ago, but I made it the healthy way with very little sugar and it turned out really runny and didn't taste all that great either.  So this time I'm going to make it the normal sugar-laden way (I know...shame on me).  Anyways, I got there and I had two options for picking...one was to pick in the patch where there were lots of berries, but they were all small, but very sweet...and the other was to pick in the patch where the berries were bigger, but very scarce and not as sweet.  Since I let my helpers sleep in and I was picking solo, I opted for the smaller berries.  I started picking.  And picking.  And kept picking.  And still hadn't filled the containers I had brought!  I think I picked for 2.5 hrs and only picked 11 qts.  I was becoming increasingly uncomfortable and finally just gave up.  I wasn't in the mood for a strawberry treasure hunt and my back was killing me.  While I was at the fruit farm, I bought two blueberry bushes and 2 red raspberry bushes. 

After I left the berry patch I had my mid-morning snack.  I actually planned ahead and brought my carb & protein snack of pretzel rods and a slice of cheese.  Didn't get the chance to figure up the calorie count for my snack, but you'll understand why when you're done with this post, so keep reading.  I was just starting to get hungry and I was actually an hour past snack time (10:30...4 hrs after breakfast), so my cream of wheat held me over better than expected! 

Then I headed to the Nickles Thrift Store Bakery to pick up some bread.  If you've never been there, it's wonderful!  I used to go there and spend about $13 for enough bread, buns, english muffins, and bagels for a month and stick them in the freezer until I needed them.  I haven't been to Wooster (where the store is located) very often lately, so I jumped at the thought to stop by.  I was able to pick up 5 loaves of 12 grain and whole wheat bread for just under $6...and I filled up my punch card and was able to snag a package of cherry donut thingies for free! 

Next stop was Aldi to pick up some produce and just look around.  I hadn't been to an Aldi store for awhile and have been contemplating going there to get groceries since it seems that I spend more at Stuff Mart...and their prices just keep increasing.  I was able to pick up 3 boxes of cereal, a container of yogurt, 2 pkgs of mushrooms, 1 pkg of tomatoes, 1 bag of baby carrots, 4 cans of cream-of-whatever soup, a bag of chex mix, and a bag of apples along with some other things I'm sure I'm forgetting for around $24.  Oh yeah, and I got a pineapple.  They had phenomenal prices of produce!  I got the mushrooms for .59ish each and the pineapple for $1.29 and it was Dole!  I was excited to grab some good deals and check out their prices on other items for future shopping reference.  

After I left Aldi, I stopped by a children's clothing consignment store.  I had dropped off some kid's clothes probably 6 months ago and never found out how much of a credit I received.  The owner told me I had a $19 credit!  So I was able to pick up 2 pairs of swimming trunks for Evan, a pair of pants and a shirt for Kailyn, and a pair of jeans and a shirt for Allie. Both of the girl's outfits can be used for school this fall. I also got a pair of Sketchers for Kailyn that looked brand new!  Just before I went to the counter to check out, the computer shut down and she couldn't do the transaction.  I told her to call me if it the problem was resolved soon since I would be in town for a little while longer and if not, I would pick them up next Wed when I take Kailyn for her physical.  She literally called me 5 mins later as I was pulling into the next store's parking lot and said it was working again.

I went to Kohl's to use my $10 off and $20 Kohl's Cash.  I found a pair of nice jeans for Evan for under $9 and a shirt and cami for me and after my credits, I spent just $4.68.  While I was there and attempting to exit the fitting room, I pinched my thumb and it started bleeding.  That was definitely a highlight.  (not)

Then I headed to Elder Beerman to exchange a pair of shorts for Evan.  Then back to the clothing store to complete the transaction.  When I got there, there was a note on the door saying the owner would be back in 20 mins.  So as I waited I ate 2 of the cherry rolls for my lunch and vowed that I wouldn't eat anything else for lunch when I got home.  The clerk came back and after my $19 credit, I owed $2.70 out of pocket!  Not too shabby!

Then I headed to Millersburg to Stuff Mart to pick up a rx for hubby and drop off the deposit at the bank. I also picked up some items to make my chore chart that I'd devised for the kids.  As always, I spent too much there.  

When it was all said and done, I didn't get home until 3:30...and I was planning to be home by noon!  It seemed as if everything took longer than normal and I was just mentally worn out.  

So I was tired and stressed.  And when I get tired and stressed, I get lazy.  When I get lazy, I just eat out of boredom without any thought as to what I'm eating.  So I did good eating wise today until I got home and that's where it ended.  Not that I ate horrible things...just too much I think.  And I never did get a workout in.  I put away all my goods I bought today, made the chore chart, and made dinner.  Afterwards, Allie and I weeded the mint patch, and planted the blueberry and raspberry bushes.  It wasn't a horrible day, but just taxing, but I was able to realize what triggers me to eat, so hopefully I can avoid those things tomorrow!      

Back to Square One

I have been so disgusted with myself lately.  My eating has been terrible horrendous and I haven't been working out as hard as I'd like to.  After a week of all 3 kiddos being home and sort of winging meals (I REALLY need to get back on a meal plan that I actually stick to!), and a weekend camping trip complete with overeating junk, the scale screamed 180 lbs at me this morning. 
One Hundred Eighty Pounds!!!!!!!!!!!!! 
And honestly, I knew it would be bad.  I can just tell when my body has packed on the weight...and 5 lbs is enough to make me feel sluggish and for my pants to get tight around the waist.  Not to mention I dont' feel good physically since eating all that crap.  I have had a tummy ache the last two mornings and I know that's what it's from.  I'm so frustrated with myself!  When I started losing weight 2.5 yrs ago, my starting weight was 185.  And here I am at 180.  Now granted, I know it's the week before Aunt Flo will come for her monthly visit, which means I'm most likely retaining water (which usually amounts to 5lbs), so maybe it's not as bad as I thought.  However, I'm ready to get this weight off.  I don't like the way I feel...and I'm sure not liking how fluffy I'm looking these days.  So...I'm back to square one. I started running the race to weight loss, only to find myself back at the starting line.  But I'm determined to finish the the race this time!

Over the weekend (as I was eating unhealthily fire-side) I was reading Jillian Michael's book, Making The Cut, which is a guide for how to lose the last 10-20 lbs.  I had read it before, but thought I'd pick it up again to see if I could glean any new knowledge from it.  In the book there is a test to see what your metabolic type is and I found out I'm a balanced oxidizer.  Honestly, I have no clue what that means...I'm thinking that I digest proteins and carbs at the same rate...but don't quote me on it.  Anyways, she said balanced oxidizers should have a diet that consists of 40% carbs, 30% protein, and 30% fat. And that I should eat carbs and protein together for every meal and snack. I really didn't know what to do with this new-found info, so this morning I've been doing some research on meal ideas and such.  Mainly each meal needs to have 1 serving of bread/rice/ or a starchy carb, 1 serving of fat (like olive oil or butter), 3-4 oz of protein and a serving of either a veggie or fruit.  Easy enough, right?  Well, I'll let you know how today goes.  

I also learned (through a quite lengthy mathematical equation) what my basal metabolic rate (BMR) is.  Mainly, it's how many calories your body would burn if you sat on the couch all day.  For me, that number is 1580 (based on the 175 lbs I THOUGHT I weighed at the time).  So mainly, if I consumed 1580 calories each day I would maintain my weight.  If I want to lose weight, I need to each less than 1580...so my daily calorie intake is 1380 each day.  I'm not sure how much of a weight loss this would bring each week, but I guess I'm going to focus on actually counting those dreaded cals first, then tweak the number as needed.  I also can add in the calories I burn during workouts, however I'm not sure if I will.  I may only add some in if it was a really hard workout where extra fuel is needed.  For my workouts, I plan to take 3-4 mile walks, 3-4 mile runs, and go to the gym twice a week.  I would also like to incorporate some strength training and core exercises here at home on my days off from the gym.  But I can't overdo it and make a mile-long list of my eating and working out guidelines or I will become overwhelmed, so I'm going to just do those when I think about it.

So there's the plan.  I pray that I can stick to it and see results.  Once I do, I'm sure the motivation will keep me going.  Right now I just want to see results...because it's been a long time since I have had any!   Wish me luck!