I just can't tell you how much I love The Biggest Loser! I think it is safe to say that I am addicted to it. I think there are so many shows on tv that are just trash, but The BL is one that truly is interested in changing people's lives. I have watched all 8 seasons and with each one, I am more amazed at the results the contestant's have received by the Finale. I think this season has been the biggest shocker of all. Granted, these people are working their tails off 4-6 hrs a day and are on very strict diets, but it is amazing to watch these people turns their lives around. The tranformation doesn't just happen on the outside, but also the inside. They are learning to love themselves again and realize that they are worth the hard work. What better gift can you gift yourself than the gift of health? Aside from salvation (which is Jesus's gift to us), I don't believe there is anything better. I say that because I am at that point. I'm tired of feeling run down and defeated all the time. I want to be truly happy...not just wear a smile around all day letting people believe I'm happy. I want to live an exciting and active life with my hubby and kids. As a mom, it's so easy to give of yourself...both time and energy...to everyone else until there's nothing left to give. I got burned out. I would feel guilty if I locked myself in my room just so I could get a workout in because my kids needed me or the laundry needed done. Not any more! I realize that by taking that time for myself, even being selfish about it, everyone will benefit. Because I have given to myself, my energy will be increased to play more with my kids, my mood will improve because I feel better about myself, and because I will have increased self-confidence, I will be a better wife and mother. I'm tired of living as if I am never good enough and letting my lack of self-confidence influence every decision I make. But all of that is changing!
Since I've started exercing the past 9 days, something is changing inside of me. I am starting to see the potential that I possess that I never knew was there. The potential to believe in myself. The potential to achieve my goal of weight loss and not let anything stand in my way. And I have come to realize that my biggest obstacle is myself. I am so determined to see this goal through that I am constantly trying to overcome myself. I know it sounds weird, but it is so true. You know yourself better than anyone else knows you.
I'll give you an example. Yesterday was a busy day. I spent it running Kailyn to the doctor's office, then to StuffMart to pick up some groceries and her prescription, as well as a few other errands before returning home. I slept in yesterday morning, which didn't give me enough time to get in a workout before leaving for the doc's. And by the time I got home, it was 4pm and I was tired. And then there's the issue of dinner...that had been overlooked in the midst of the chaotic day. So as I'm trying to put away my groceries and start on dinner, a talked to a friend, who is also my accountibility partner in this weight loss journey. And what does she ask me? Yep, you guessed it. "Have your worked out today?" I explained my day to her and promised to workout before going to bed. As the evening progressed, my motivation to workout lessened. But I knew myself. I knew that if I skipped my workout yesterday, that would be the start of chronically skipped workouts and eventually me giving up. So I overcame myself and worked out. I planned to just do 30 mins on the treadmill, but then decided to do 15 mins more, but then decided to just do 60 mins instead. But as the 60 min mark drew nearer, I saw that I had walked/jogged just under 4 miles. So...I persevered 4 mins longer (most of which was jogging) in order to see my treadmill report that I had gone 4 miles! I was tired and sweaty, but felt so accomplished by what I had achieved! I don't think I've ever been on the treadmill for an hour in the 5 or so years I've had it! And 5 yrs ago I certainly could never have jogged (nor would I have wanted to) as much as I did last night! Even though I'm not seeing huge progress on the scales or in the way my clothes fit yet, I do see progress in my strength and endurance.
And here's the best part...I got on the scale today and it said 180.8lbs! That's 4.2lbs lost! Of course the loss will not be official until next Monday's weigh in, but still...I am getting results!