Sunday, September 9, 2012

Your Loss Is My Gain

First of all, let me start out by saying that I feel as if everyone around me (ok, I may be exaggerating a little) is losing weight and looking great.  My friends, my mom, and most of all my sister who has lost over 100 lbs after fighting her weight battle her whole life.  Don't get me wrong, I am happy for her.  But I am Oh. So. Jealous.  I want this weight struggle of mine to be O-VER.  I'm tired of yo-yo-ing.  I see my weight struggle as a never-ending cycle right now.  I have 3 weeks where I do well with my eating and exercising.  Then there is 1 week each month where I literally want to eat everything in sight AND gain approximately 3-5 lbs of water weight, PLUS any extra weight from the gorging episodes that have occurred.  So I feel as if my net weight loss each month is a BIG FAT ZERO.  Then the cycle repeats itself.  It's so frustrating. 

And right now I'm in a complete rut.  I've worked out a total of 3 times in the past 15 days.  I know...pathetic.  So what's this girl to do?  I'm trying to think of ways to combat this.  I know I need to exercise more, period.  But I have found with my body that if I work out too hard or too much then my body holds on to weight or something because I always seem to gain.  So I need to find that balance. But how?  That's where I'm stumped.  

My sister still lives with my parents and I noticed that my mom (who had gained approx 30 lbs in the past year due to depression) has also lost weight.  So I asked her if she had.  (That's way more socially acceptable than asking if someone has gained weight, btw) Sure enough, she had.  About 30 lbs.  This just floors me because the most I've been able to lose is 15 lbs and it took me about 4 months to do it...and here I am still struggling to lose.  So I asked her how she had lost it.  She said by walking 5 miles a day and eating more chicken breast and lighter meals like cereal.  Sounds easy enough, right?  Well, then why is it so stinking hard for me?  I want to lose this weight more than anything, so why don't I just do what it takes to reach this goal so I can put it behind me and move on with my life?   

I guess it's time to get serious about losing this weight.  It's time to put in some blood, sweat, and tears and sacrifice to make it happen.  I'd like to set a goal to lose 5 lbs each month in order to be at 156ish by the end of the year.  Ultimately I'd like to be at 150 by the end of the year, but I don't want to make my goal too hard to obtain.  If I get there, great, but 156 is both doable and will still be an awesome feeling to reach that number!  I haven't been in the 150's since I got married 15 years ago!  I'm getting excited now just thinking about it! 

I'm not exactly sure HOW I'm going to do this, but the first step is being fully aware of what I'm eating and the decisions I'm making and whether they line up with my goal.  And I'm going to start walking more.  I plan to go to the gym 1 or 2 times a week and run 1 or 2 times, but the rest will be walking or a walk/jog.  And of course I will update you weekly with my progress! 

Wish me luck! :)

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