Friday, July 6, 2012

The Future

This summer marked the beginning of changes.  My oldest goes off too middle school in the fall, which means he will be in a school 6th, 7th, & 8th graders.  That thought alone scares me.  He will also be in a completely different building located 15 mins away from his former school (and where his sisters will be).  He will also get on the bus before 7am.  Did you get that?         7 AM.  That is itself should be a crime!  (Mainly because that means I will be getting up by AT LEAST 6 am...and probably before that if I want to have any quiet time for devotions, a shower, or well, just quietness.  He will also get home earlier, around 3pm.  On a good note, getting home 1.5 hrs before his sister do will probably be good for him.  He'll have time to unwind without them.  He could get his homework done and be free to help his sisters do theirs.  He could even start dinner.  Yeah, I know...I'm going overboard.

Change #2 is that my BABY will go to kindergarten.  So by 8:10am I will be a free woman!  (That, my friends, is Change #3).  I've never had that much free time on my hands.

Which leaves me wondering...what does my future look like? 

And I'll be honest...I have no clue. 

A part of me has always had in the back of my mind that I would go to work once all the kids were in school.  And I can picture myself spending time with friends or family, organizing my entire house, and making lavish meals for dinner.  But I also feel a twinge of lonliness when I think those thoughts.  I will be alone.  Yes, hubby will be here, however he will be working...which leads me to another thought:  Will I be spending my free-time in the garage helping him with the business?  Honestly, I hope not.  I don't mind helping some throughout the day, but I don't want to do that full-time. 

So many possibilities have run through my mind....getting a job.  Full-time or part-time?  If I did that I would be away from my kids in the summertime and on days where there is no school.  Go back to school?  I have always wanted to learn graphic design.  I had planned to go to college for it, but, due to lack of funds, I had to settle for commuting to a local college and earning a degree in floral design.  Don't get me wrong, I love floral design!  I just don't see many opportunities in that field at this time.  I could start my own business, but honestly we're so stressed with the one we have right now, how on earth could we handle another? 

I'm feeling a bit overwhelmed right now.  I feel like I need a plan or come August 22nd, I will be found in the house eating cupcakes and crying because my life sort of sped up before my eyes and here I am left as a homemaker and stay-at-home mom...however I'm not as "needed" as I once was.  

One thing that gives me encouragement are the words of Jeremiah 29:11:

“I know what I’m doing.  I have it all planned out–plans to take care of you, not abandon you, plans to give you the future you hope for."
I'm glad God's got it planned out, because I know I sure don't!


goatpod2 said...

Wow, your kids are growing up, I remember when 1st meeting them at our farm! Oh, I added you so you can still read my blog since it is basically private to everyone else.


Jeanette said...

You don't have to have it all figured out by the first day of school! One day at a time...