Monday, July 27, 2009

Time to start blogging again...

I was on the phone with a friend today and she was telling me about the blogs of one of her friends. Then she asks for my blog address...and reluctantly told her I've slacked off on my blogging. Ok..I've totally turned my back on it...as in, this will be my 3rd post on my blog in almost a year. Pathetic, I know. So what better time to turn over my blogging leaf than today? At first I thought that maybe I wouldn't have anything entertaing to write about, but as I thought over the past year of my life, there's a lot that has happened...much of which would most definately put a smile on your face...or maybe even make you giggle a little.

The story that comes to mind was The Stabbing. Yes, a real stabbing. Last fall, my son sold some popcorn as a fundraiser for his Cub Scout troop. And you know how those fundraisers work..you sell some stuff and you get a prize (if you're lucky). Well, my son was lucky...at least I thought he was until his prize (which ended up being a knife) got the best of him one night. I was watching 2 of my friend's kids that night and hubby was at a friend's house. Those of you who don't know Evan, he loves to show off in front of people. So of course I hear him being the funny guy that he is. Then I hear him sort of whimpering and such while he's heading towards me holding his inner thigh. I thought he was joking (he also tends to fake me out in front of company). He starts sort of freaking out so I decide to take him seriously and we proceed to the bathroom to check his "wound" (that I just knew would be a little scratch). On the way to the bathroom I see blood stains on his pants...so that's approximately when I started to freak out. I don't do well with blood, so the thought crossed my mind to just not check the wound and just tell him to apply pressure while I call his dad and tell him to get his bum home so he could play doc that night. Proving myself stronger than I expected, he removes his pants to reveal a nice little football shaped gash on his inner thigh. That is when he started to officially go into shock...I know this because at this point he was sitting on the floor with his hand on his wound rocking back and forth crying and saying "I'm gonna die, I'm gonna die!" This did not help my previously mentioned freaking out situation. I had no clue what to do. I knew that when a wound gapes open, that's a pretty good sign to rush to the ER for stitches. However I had 5 children at my house and no spouse. So I called Mr. Spouse and I hysterically tell him what has happened...all in secret code language so that Evan doesn't realize that it is in fact as bad as he things it is (all except te dying part, that is). Spouse proceeds to tell me I'm overreacting and to put a bandaid on it...and is a little perturbed at me for calling him I suppose. He tells me he will be home and that in the meantime this could be a lesson for Evan not to misuse knives. What a lesson! We take another look at it to see if it needs cleaned out and I'm seeing white stuff in it...which my son tells me is fat. I'm pretty sure that is when I started seeing spots. Despite all the chaos, hubby comes home and announces that it does not need stitches, but just a BIG bandaid, which we do not have. So I had to call my friend (whose kids were at my house) and give her a list of all the first items that you should have in your house in case of emergencies that we did not have. Once Evan was bandaged up, he explains just how this incident occured...he was mimicking the movie The Cat In The Hat, where cat has a knife and cuts his on tail. He had the knife in his hand while mimicking, but forgot to stop mimicking at the proper time...hence the stabbing.

Hmm...what else has been going on this past year? I plan to be very transparent in this blog in hopes that it will encourage and enlighten some of you who may be experiencing some of the same situations. With that said, hubby and I have been experiencing the 9-year blahs in our marriage, which in turn landed us in counseling. Then our counseler experienced some health problems and we weren't able to continue counseling with him. At that point, we were doing "fine" and thought we could make it without the counsel. Well, that only lasted a couple of weeks and before we knew it we were at each other's throats again. Things got better again, then worse again...and the cycle continued. I was at the end of my rope and I was tired of begging God for a miracle. We decided to take a trip to celebrate our upcoming 10th anniversary. We went to Key West and had a great time together just like old times when we were dating or even first married. Then we came home. To 3 kids. To a business that is never ending. To LIFE. And the fighting started again. The week after we came home, we decided we needed a plan to try and salvage what we had when we were on our getaway. It was as if LIFE shoved its way between us and kept us just out of arm's reach. It's taken a couple of more talks since then, but I think we are finally on the true path of restoration. We are starting to fall in love again...and it's great! We are realizing that we both have been selfish in our marriage, fighting for what we each "deserve"...and forgetting that in marriage there are no "I's", only "We's" and "Us's". We also are realizing that although our spouse may not be the perfect prince or princess we thought they were when we married them, but that's ok. We are starting to overlook our flaws instead of constantly pointing them out to one another. We are starting to truly LOVE again. And I just think it's amazing.

I am also on a journey to find out just who JEN is. In the midst of parenting and meeting the demands of everyday life as a 24/7 caretaker of 3 children, I've sort of lost who I am. I have put my life into nurturing my children and Jen has taken a backseat. It's sort of like a dream (or nightmare)...like one day I woke up and was shocked at what I saw....a frustrated, overweight mom in dysfunctional marriage who was going through the motions of everyday without any joy. I am trying to see life in a new light. It's not always easy, and I'm not always successful, but I'm making progress and that is all that matters to me. I have 40 lbs to lose, so I've started working out regularly. I've even started jogging, which I NEVER thought I'd ever do....let along ENJOY it! I feel empowered after each workout and I'm noticing how it really affects the outcome of my day. I have more energy and a better outlook on life. I haven't noticed any changes in my body, but I know that will come if I will just keep up this routine. I'm ready for a lifestyle change. We only have one body...why wouldn't we take care of it? We take care of our houses, cars, and every other material possession, but we let our bodies fall by the wayside. It's sad. I'm hoping this blog will also help to keep me accountible to you during this weight loss/restoration journey. Look out world, here I come! LOL

WOW...what a LONG blog! I think I have made up for a year's worth of non-blogging, what do you think?

1 comment:

Hollie said...

Love it Jen! Keep them coming!!