Tuesday, January 19, 2016

Taking Off The Mask

I am guilty.  I like to play the part of the Mom-Who-Has-It-All-Together.      You know her well, I'm sure...the mom who is well-dressed, her kids say Please and Thank You, she goes to Bible Study, has a good job, a great marriage, great hair, no wrinkles, nice legs, no stretch marks, and the list goes on and on.  I don't show my faults to the rest of the world, or not purposely.  It's easier to put on a mask than to bare it all to the world.  And honestly, most people don't want to hear about our problems so it's easier to just smile and wave. 

Can I just be honest with you? I'm a Hot Mess right now.  Motherhood is lovely, but today is one of those days where I have contemplated running away.  I feel the need to tell you what my day has been like so that maybe you can realize that you are not alone in your struggles and we can all start to take the masks off and Just.  Be. Ourselves.  Doesn't that sound refreshing?

So, today I woke up after not nearly enough sleep.  I was up late having a heated conversation with the hubster till after 11 and had to be up at 6 am to start the morning routine.  I honestly don't know what I did between 6 & 6:30 but I got the two older kids up so they could start getting ready.  We were out of eggs, so bagels were for breakfast.  Realized there was only 1 bagel so I made some toast.  Sibling rivalry and snarky comments happened and I had to lecture about how to speak nicely to other people and to watch our tone.  Eyes rolled.  No cash for food at the ski lodge tonight for the kiddos so I quickly threw together some PB&Js and a granola bar for their dinners.  They are out the door.  Get 8 yr old up and she yells at me for not getting her up sooner (even though I had gotten her up 8 minutes sooner but she fell back asleep).  Throw together her lunch and send her out the door.  Make some dinner and dessert so this Mama can do her best to stay on her diet (and lose these stubborn 30 lbs).  Kitchen is a mess and I haven't had a shower.  Shower is taken and by this time I'm running late to meet my friend.  I text friend to let her know.  Head out the door and haven't defrosted my van so it's freezing on my 30 minute drive to my friend's.  Had a great and much needed visit with my friend and rushed home to get the 8 yr old off the bus.  Along the way I remember that I need to get more medicine for our cat, so I stop by the vet.  Get the meds and realize I have no more checks in my checkbook...and no cash with which to pay him.  Embarrassed, I agree to stop by in the morning with a check.  Arrived at home with a massive headache.  I tell 8 yr old that we are going to get groceries tonight.  She throws a fit because she doesn't want to go.  I realize that I am nowhere near ready to buy groceries and my menu hasn't been made yet...and my head is pounding so I decide not to go.  8 yr old throws the mother of all fits because she wants to go shopping.  She takes my keys and starts the van.  She goes to her room and slams the door.  She says she hates me.  She throws the cat.  She finally is told to stay in her room and take a nap.  Currently I think she actually has fallen asleep!  Either that, or she is secretly plotting my demise.  Either way, I am enjoying the peace and quiet.  I have a dirty cluttered house.  The dishes are not done.  The laundry is not done.  I'm exhausted.  And it's only 6pm! 

Luckily the earlier part of the day was awesome.  I spent the day at a dear friend's house playing with her kids and catching up with each other's lives.  We prayed together.  We cried together.  We understood each other.  We saw each other for who we are, not who we are trying to portray most days. And we love each other despite all our flaws and weaknesses.  I am so thankful for times when I can just be ME.  I encourage you to try it sometime and feel how wonderfully refreshing it can be! 


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